Feelings....

After everything that we have been through as individuals, as a couple and as parents, I often feel like since we have experienced some really hard and terrible situations in the past 7 years, that it is sort of a mission for me to try and help every single person who is going through their own rough times that were similar to ours.  Since I found out my aunt had cancer, clear up till I found out she was terminl and even after she passed away, I have thought that if I could just help other people with cancer feel safe, loved and comforted it might ease my heartache.  I know that I technically am reliving my trauma over and over through that of others.  I cant ignore their need for support and I cant deny that I feel certain levels of empathy for their situations.  I sort of feel like now that our life is on a semi controlled, or more regular positive incline that I am obligated to show support for others.  I feel like I dont want anyone to ever have to go through what we have along this long, trecherous winding road called our life.  So I have continued over the past 5 years to be there and show my support for those who need it.  People say that I put myself out there too much and that I cant help everyone, but as I have matured and grown as a human being, woman, mother, daughter, student, wife and member of my community I have realized that it is our responsibility to take care of eachother however necessary.  Thinking back to when I was 15, 18, 21 years old....i would never have pictured myself in this type of life or even saying these words.  However I guess being in the psychology and human services field I always try to over analyze things and try to overextend myself.  I do love helping people though.....I just hope that someday I will be able to say that I have made a positive difference for someone if not for myself.  This is one of those blog entries where I feel like I have lready said too much.  I guess thats the point though!